For The Woman Who Is Done Being Told She Is Fine When She Knows She Is Not
You Wake Up Tired. Your Labs Say You Are Fine. You Are Not Fine.
You did the bloodwork. Everything came back "in range." You still drag yourself out of bed, crash in the afternoon, snap at the people you love, and feel like a stranger in your own body.
The labs your doctor ran were never built to look for the why. The one I am going to run for you is. Then I sit down with you on a video call and read it with you, in plain English, so you finally know what is actually going on.
The test that looks for the why, plus a personalized video Read Call where Franko reads your results with you.
Regular value $1,243 · Today $547
Here Is What Your Week Probably Looks Like
Waking up tired even after eight hours of sleep, and crashing again by mid-afternoon.
Brain fog so thick that meetings feel like swimming through wet sand and your name almost stops sounding like yours.
Snapping at your kids and your partner over things that did not used to bother you, and feeling like a worse version of yourself the second after you do it.
Weight that will not move no matter how clean you eat or how hard you train, on a body that used to respond to anything.
Periods that have changed, gotten heavier, gotten lighter, gotten unpredictable, or disappeared on you.
A libido that has quietly walked out the door.
Anxiety that hits at random moments for no reason you can name.
A nagging feeling that something real is off, and a doctor who keeps telling you everything is fine.
The quiet thought, sometimes at night, that you do not feel like yourself anymore.
This is not in your head, and it is not your fault.
The labs your doctor ran were never built to look for the why, so of course nothing showed up.
What If You Could...
Walk into your next doctor visit with data they cannot wave off and a one-page brief written in their language.
Finally know the why behind the exhaustion, instead of guessing for another year.
Sit on a video call with someone who has been where you are and have them translate what your body has been trying to tell you.
Stop wondering whether it is stress, age, your hormones, your sleep, or all of it, and have a real answer.
Stop doing the random internet protocol of the month and start making decisions about your body from a place of clarity.
Look at yourself in the mirror six months from now and recognize yourself again.
The Test + Read Is How You Stop Guessing About Why You Feel This Way
Order your kit.
You buy through this page and we ship the at-home collection kit to your door. No clinic visits, no waiting rooms, no awkward conversations.
Collect at home.
You collect four dried urine samples across one day, on your own schedule. The kit walks you through it. The whole collection is designed to finish in a day.
Sit down with me and read it.
Your results come back in about two to three weeks. We meet on a video call and I walk you through every page, in plain English, and tell you what it means for how you actually feel. You leave with clarity, not a stack of paper.
INTRODUCING
The Test + Personalized Read With Franko
This is the clearest first window you can get into the hormone and cortisol layer of what is driving your symptoms, without sitting in a hospital. It looks at a full day of what your body is doing, not a single moment, and it picks up the patterns the standard panel was never built to see.
I ran it on myself when my own labs said I was "fine." Then I trained as a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner so I could run it on other women, too.
You get the test. You get me on a video call to read it with you. You leave knowing what is actually going on. The exact markers it measures, and the framework I read them through, are listed below.
Here's What You're Going To Get
The full DUTCH Complete test kit
shipped to your door, with step-by-step collection instructions you can finish in a day.
A 60-minute personalized Read Call with Franko
where I walk you through every page of your results, on video, in language that actually makes sense.
A private question window for seven days after the call
by email, so you can ask the follow-up questions that always come up once the call ends.
Lab processing through Precision Analytical
the lab that built the DUTCH test, and your complete results report covering the markers tied to your symptoms.
A written summary of your top three findings
sent to you within 48 hours of our call, so you have something to reference and something to bring to your doctor.
The Cortisol and Hormone Reset Companion
a short pre-call mini-course in three modules: Read Your Day, Build a Quieter Morning, and Your Before Picture. It walks you through how to track your day, build a quieter morning, and take a baseline picture of your body before your test kit arrives, so you show up to the Read Call already knowing what your day looks like.
ONE MORE THING
Plus One Bonus On Top, A Thank-You For Trusting Me With Your First Test
As a thank-you for trusting me with your first test, you also get the 5 Labs Guide, my pre-call companion that helps you read the standard bloodwork your doctor already ran while you wait for your DUTCH results to come back. It is the guide I wish someone had handed me the year I was still being told I was fine.
As a thank-you for trusting me with your first test, you also get the 5 Labs Guide, my pre-call companion that helps you read the standard bloodwork your doctor already ran while you wait for your DUTCH results to come back. It is the guide I wish someone had handed me the year I was still being told I was fine.
What You Will Walk Out Of The Read Call Knowing
Here is what the days after your Read Call can look like, starting the night of the call itself.
1
By the night after your Read Call, you will finally have a clear picture of what your hormones and cortisol are doing across a full day, and what that likely means for how you feel. Not a guess. Not another theory. A real pattern, on paper, that you can point to. You will feel quieter inside. You will sleep a little better that night, because the question that has been running in the background of your head finally has something solid behind it.
1
By the end of that week, you will be telling your closest friend that you finally ran a test that looked for the why, and that someone sat with you for an hour and explained the whole thing to you in a way that finally made sense. You will have words for what has been happening that you did not have before. You will have a one-page summary you can hold in your hand.
By the Monday after the call, you will stop opening a new tab at midnight to type your symptoms into the search bar. You will stop downloading another supplement protocol from another influencer. You will stop apologizing to your partner for being tired. Because now you have the answer, and you have an actual next step.
Visit
By the next doctor visit, you will walk in with data, not with another vague complaint. You will be calm. You will be specific. You will not feel like you are begging anymore. You will say, "I ran a different test. I worked through the results with someone who specializes in this. I want to walk you through what we found before we talk about next steps."
Test, Don't Guess. Here Is Why I Built This.
I spent years guessing. I cut sugar. I cut gluten. I lifted weights. I read the books. Some of it helped. A lot of it did not, because I was treating a body I could not actually see.
I was at Amazon, then at Microsoft, falling asleep at red lights on the drive home, snapping at my son over nothing, and telling myself I was fine because the doctor said I was fine. Then I ran the labs my doctor never offered, and the picture changed. Numbers on the floor in the morning. Numbers spiking at night. Testosterone so low it did not belong to a man my age. None of that showed up in the "normal" panel I had been running for years.
The moment I saw it on paper, I stopped guessing, and the recovery started. That is the whole point of this offer. We are not going to throw protocols at a body we have not measured. You are going to test first, sit down with me to read the results, and then you decide what you want to do next. That is the order. Test, then read, then decide.
Why You Can Trust What This Test Tells You
The test is the DUTCH Complete, built and processed by Precision Analytical, the lab that developed it. It is the same panel that functional medicine doctors and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioners use around the world to read a woman's hormones and cortisol. You are not getting a drugstore strip or a mail-order gimmick. You are getting the panel professionals already trust, run by the lab that made it.
The read is mine. I am a certified Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, and before I ran this test for anyone else, I ran it on myself, back when my standard labs said I was fine and I knew I was not. I trained for this specifically so I could sit with a woman and turn a report like yours into language she can actually use.
So you get two things you can lean on. A lab-grade test the field already trusts, and someone who has been on both sides of it, the patient side and the practitioner side.
ORDER TODAY, YOUR KIT SHIPS TO YOUR DOOR
What's Included...
The DUTCH Complete test kit, shipped to your door
A 60-minute personalized Read Call with Franko
A seven-day email follow-up window
Lab processing through Precision Analytical and your complete results report
A written summary of your top three findings
The Cortisol and Hormone Reset Companion, a three-module pre-call mini-course
Bonus: the 5 Labs Guide
THAT'S A TOTAL VALUE OF: $1,243
...all for just $547 today
Let's Recap Everything You're About To Get...
DUTCH Complete test kit
60-minute personalized Read Call with Franko
Seven-day email follow-up window
Lab processing through Precision Analytical and your complete results report
Written summary of your top three findings
The Cortisol and Hormone Reset Companion (Read Your Day, Build a Quieter Morning, Your Before Picture)
Bonus: the 5 Labs Guide
Your Investment Today: $547
Three Questions I Get Before You Buy
Why should I trust you to read my labs?
Because I ran them on myself first. I spent years inside Amazon and Microsoft thinking I was fine because my standard labs said so. I was not fine. The DUTCH test and a deeper hormone panel showed me what was actually wrong. I trained as a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner so I could do for other women what nobody did for me.
Why this test and not just more bloodwork?
Standard bloodwork gives you a single moment in time. The DUTCH gives you a whole day of cortisol, plus how your body is metabolizing your sex hormones, in one collection you do at home. For the symptoms you keep getting dismissed about, this is the picture that actually shows the story.
Why am I doing this instead of going back to my doctor?
You can do both. The written summary you get is built so you can walk it into your next visit. The difference is that here, you also get someone who will sit with you for an hour and explain what the results mean for your life, not just your chart.
The Test + Read Offer Is For You If You're Ready To...
Stop guessing about your body and finally see the real picture on paper.
Hear what is actually driving the way you feel across a full day, not a single moment.
Sit on a video call with someone who has been where you are, and walk through the results together in language you can actually use.
Bring real data into your next doctor visit instead of another vague complaint they can wave off.
Make your next decision about your health from a place of clarity, not panic.
Take the first concrete step before you decide what comes next.
Here is what I can promise you about the call itself. You will not leave with more questions than you walked in with. You will leave knowing what your hormones and cortisol are doing across your day, what that means for how you feel, and what your options are from here. That is the point of the Read Call, and it is what you are paying for.
TOTAL VALUE OF $1,243
Together, the kit, the lab work, the Read Call, the written summary, the question window, the 5 Labs Guide, and the Cortisol and Hormone Reset Companion would add up to $1,243 if you bought them piece by piece.
ALL OF THIS FOR JUST $547
Why The Price Is What It Is
The standard hormone consult in most clinics is hundreds of dollars on its own, and it almost never includes a test like this one. I am bundling the kit, the lab work, an hour of my time on a Read Call, a written summary, a follow-up window, the Cortisol and Hormone Reset Companion, and the 5 Labs Guide, and pricing it where a woman with a real job and a real family can actually say yes. I do it because the cost of staying confused about your body is higher than any number I could put on this page. Lost years feel a lot more expensive than a lab test.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this for me?
If you are a woman between 30 and 50 who is exhausted, foggy, moody, or feels off, and your doctor keeps telling you everything looks normal, this is built for you. If you are pregnant or currently breastfeeding, the DUTCH test is not the right test right now, so this is not the right offer for you yet.
How long until I get results?
About two to three weeks from the day the lab receives your samples. As soon as your report is in, we schedule your Read Call.
What if I'm on hormonal birth control or hormone therapy?
You can still run the test. The results need to be read in the context of what you are taking, which is exactly what the Read Call is for. Tell me what you are on before the call and I will fold it into how I read the results.
Will you put me on a protocol after the call?
No. This offer is the test and the read. You leave with clarity about what is driving how you feel. What you do next is your choice. If you want a full protocol after that, we can talk about it separately. The Read Call itself is about giving you the picture, not handing you another plan to follow.
How does the test work?
You collect four dried urine samples across one day, on filter strips that dry in minutes, and drop the kit in the mail. The lab processes everything and sends back a full report. You do it all at home.
Do I need a doctor to do this?
No. The DUTCH test is offered directly through the practitioner channel and does not require a separate doctor's order. If you have a doctor you love, bring them the written summary afterward. If you do not, you can still go through this on your own.
What does this test actually measure?
The DUTCH Complete looks at your cortisol rhythm across the day, your sex hormones (estrogen, progesterone, testosterone) and how your body is metabolizing them, including which estrogen pathways your body is favoring, your melatonin, and a set of organic acid markers tied to your nervous system and energy production. It is a more complete picture than a single blood draw can give you. This is part of a framework called HIDDEN+. My training reads the body as one connected system. Six interlinked stress areas (hormones, immune function, digestion, detox, energy production, nervous system) plus oxidative stress as the seventh, which accelerates wear across the other six.
What's your refund policy?
Because this is a physical lab kit and a personal call, refunds are limited. If your kit has not shipped yet, you can request a full refund. Once the kit has shipped, the lab work and the Read Call are non-refundable, but we will honor the Read Call regardless of what the results show.
Lab Test Disclaimers
Because this is a physical lab kit and a personal call, refunds are limited. If your kit has not shipped yet, you can request a full refund. Once the kit has shipped, the lab work and the Read Call are non-refundable.
We will honor the Read Call regardless of what the results show.
The DUTCH test is not the right test during pregnancy or breastfeeding. If you are pregnant or currently breastfeeding, this is not the right offer for you yet.
LET'S GET TO THE ROOT CAUSE OF YOUR HEALTH CHALLENGE
The Test. The Read. That Is The Whole Offer.
The DUTCH test is the same panel used by Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioners and functional medicine doctors around the world. The Read Call is built on the same training I went through to make sense of my own results. You get the data, and you get someone who will sit with you and translate it. That is the whole offer.
What's Included...
The DUTCH Complete test kit, shipped to your door
A 60-minute personalized Read Call with Franko
A seven-day email follow-up window
Lab processing through Precision Analytical and your complete results report
A written summary of your top three findings
The Cortisol and Hormone Reset Companion, a three-module pre-call mini-course
Bonus: the 5 Labs Guide
THAT'S A TOTAL VALUE OF: $1,243
...all for just $547 today
© 2026 Yupi Health · yupi.health · All Rights Reserved
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Because this is a physical lab kit and a personal call, refunds are limited. If your kit has not shipped yet, you can request a full refund. Once the kit has shipped, the lab work and the Read Call are non-refundable.